Does God Still Care About My Messy Family?

NEW SERIES: FAMILIES, BROKEN AND BELOVED

If you grew up in or are living in what you would honestly call a messy family, you are not alone.

EPISODE 1: DOES GOD STILL CARE ABOUT MY MESSY FAMILY?

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Does God Still Care About My Messy Family?

If you are anything like most people I talk to, the word “family” does not just bring up Hallmark movie scenes. It brings up tension in your shoulders. Faces and memories. Regrets you wish you could forget. Conversations that went sideways years ago and never seemed to come back.

For some, the guilt sounds like this: “If I had just done more. If I had been less angry. If I had made different choices, maybe my family would not be such a mess.”

For others, the ache is different. “If my parents had been different. If that trauma had not happened. If religion had not been used as a weapon in our house, maybe I would not be so wary of God and church.”

Some of you look at your family and think, “We love each other, but we are complicated. We are not Instagram ready. We are a mix of beautiful and painful all at once.”

If that is you, I want you to hear this clearly. The Bible did not fail you. What failed you was the polished Christian fantasy that pretends the Bible is full of perfect families, then quietly judges yours for not looking like them.

When you open the Bible with honest eyes, something shocking happens.

You do not find a single perfect family. Not one.

You find adultery and cover ups. You find “good church kids” who go prodigal. You find favoritism, rivalry, neglected children, blended homes, deep wounds, and unhealed trauma. You find fathers who fail, mothers who weep, siblings who betray, and children who run.

And right in the middle of that chaos, you meet a covenant God who refuses to walk away. A God who steps into broken family stories and says, “I am not done with you. I am not ashamed of you. I can still work with this.”

That is where our new series begins.

Families, Broken and Beloved: What Does God Really Say?

In this series, “Families, Broken and Beloved,” we are not going to stare at a plastic religious world. We are going to look at family through the eyes of the Bible’s world. The Ancient Near Eastern world. The world of clan and household, honor and shame, covenant and generational blessing.

We are going to ask real questions.

Does God still care about my messy family?

What does the Bible actually show us about home in its original world?

And what does any of that mean for your living room tonight?

To answer that, we need to start where the Bible starts.

How God Meets You In A Messy Family

Family in the Bible’s world

When a modern Western Christian hears the word “family,” most people picture a nuclear home. Mom, dad, two kids, and maybe a dog. One house. One front door. One little unit.

In the Bible’s world, family was much larger and much deeper than that.

One key Hebrew word is “mishpachah” (meesh pah KHAH). It means clan. Extended family. All your people. Parents, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, servants, and sometimes even resident foreigners attached to your household.

Another word is “bayit” (BAH yeet). It literally means “house,” but it carries the sense of household. Everyone who belongs under that roof and under that name.

In that Ancient Near Eastern world, family meant three things.

Identity. You were known by your father’s house and your clan.

Security. Your family was your protection and your provision.

Future. Your family carried your name, your land, and your legacy forward.

So when God speaks to Abram in Genesis 12, He is not just talking about Abram’s quiet time. He is calling a family line that will become a channel of blessing.

Lexham English Bible, Genesis 12.1 to 3, excerpted:

“Now Yahweh said to Abram, ‘Go out from your land, and from your relatives, and from your father’s house, to the land that I will show you. And I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you, and I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. … And all the families of the earth will be blessed in you.’”

Complete Jewish Bible, Genesis 12.1 to 3, excerpted:

“Adonai said to Avram, ‘Get yourself out of your country, away from your kinsmen and away from your father’s house, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation; I will bless you; I will make your name great; and you are to be a blessing. … And by you all the families of the earth will be blessed.’”

From the very beginning, God’s plan is family shaped. “All the families of the earth will be blessed.”

That means your family story, no matter how tangled, still sits inside a bigger story God is writing.

The Bible’s families are not cleaned up

If the enemy cannot keep you away from the Bible, he will try to sell you a fake version of it. A glossy museum of white robed people who always smile and behave. Then when you look at your real life, you feel disqualified.

So let's tear that fake museum down!

Abraham’s family.

He lies about his wife. Twice. He sleeps with Hagar, then treats her and Ishmael in ways that leave deep pain. Favoritism and tension ripple through his descendants.

Isaac’s family.

Isaac favors Esau. Rebekah favors Jacob. The parents play the sons against each other. Jacob deceives his way into the blessing. Esau wants to kill him. That is not a cute sibling spat. That is homicide level rage.

Jacob’s family.

Multiple wives. Open favoritism toward Joseph. Brothers so jealous they sell him into slavery and fake his death. A father so shattered by grief he can barely function.

David’s family.

Adultery. A cover up. Abuse of power. A son who rapes his sister. Another son who avenges her. A father who fails to act. A son who leads a rebellion. A kingdom torn apart by generational sin and unresolved trauma.

Even in the New Testament, the famous father in the “Prodigal Son” story is living with a rebellious son and a resentful son under the same roof. That is a messy family.

Here is the stunning thing.

God does not edit these stories out.

He does not hide them to protect His public relations.

He puts them front and center in His Word.

Why?

Because the Bible is not a museum of perfect families. It is the record of a covenant God who walks into broken homes, over and over again, and keeps working with people who do not get it right.

In the honor and shame world of the Ancient Near East, you did not air your dirty family laundry. Family failure could destroy your name and your alliances. If you were inventing a religion to impress people, you would never tell stories like Genesis and 2 Samuel honestly.

The fact that God lets us see Abraham’s failures as a husband, Jacob’s dysfunction as a father, and David’s catastrophic sins as a king and dad tells you something life changing.

God is not ashamed to tell the truth about families.

And He is not scared of your family.

What about my family?

So what does this mean for you, sitting where you are, carrying your story?

Maybe you feel like you failed your family.

You are the dad who lost his temper too often.

You are the mom who feels like she cannot erase the past.

You are the spouse who made choices that damaged your home.

The God who worked with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and David is not finished with you. He does not excuse sin. He does not minimize damage. But He also does not throw people away when they repent and return.

Maybe you are the one who was failed by your family.

You grew up with abuse, neglect, or addiction.

Maybe the Bible was used as a weapon instead of a comfort.

Maybe “family series” in church feels like another round of shame.

Hear this clearly.

God saw every tear.

He knows the wounds your family gave you.

He is not asking you to pretend it was all fine.

Or maybe you are somewhere in the middle.

Your family is not catastrophic. It is just complicated.

There is good and bad, love and unspoken pain.

God cares about those homes too.

Family and kingdom purpose...

Remember those two Hebrew words.

Mishpachah. Clan, extended family, all your people.

Bayit. House, household, everyone under your roof and under your name.

In that Ancient Near Eastern world, family was not just warm feelings. It was vocation. Mission. A shared calling.

When Joshua says, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” that word house is bayit. “Everyone under my authority and my name, we are aligning with the God of Israel.”

Even if your family background is tangled, God can take your current household, your current circle, and turn it into a place where His presence rests.

That might look like:

Reading the Bible with your kids even if no one did that for you.

Apologizing to your spouse and breaking patterns you inherited.

Choosing not to repeat the sins that ran through your family line.

You cannot rewrite your past. You can covenant your future.

God makes a home for the lonely!

There is a verse I want you to hold on to if your heart feels homeless.

Lexham English Bible, Psalm 68.6:

“God settles the lonely in a home; he brings prisoners out into prosperity, but the rebellious live in a parched land.”

Complete Jewish Bible, Psalm 68.6:

“God gives homes to those who are alone and leads prisoners out into prosperity; but rebels must live in a parched wasteland.”

The word for “home” is bayit again. God is the One who can create household for the lonely. For the one whose earthly family fractured. For the person who never got the home they needed.

Unity, belonging, and safety ultimately start in His household.

Taco Tony steps in

Now, if Taco Tony were sitting at your kitchen table, biting into a taco and listening to all this, I think he would say something like:

“Doc, if God can work with Abraham’s drama and David’s disaster, He can handle my family’s group chat. The question is not whether God can work with my mess. The question is, will I hand Him the broom or keep sweeping it under the rug.”

Exactly.

A challenge and a choice

If everything we have seen is true, then you are not disqualified by your family story. You are not trapped in a script you cannot change. But you do have a choice.

Will you let the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and the prodigal father speak into your real family story, not the polished church version.

Will you stop pretending it was all fine and start telling the truth to Him.

Will you stop using your past as an excuse to stay stuck in patterns that are killing you.

Will you stop saying, “This is just how my family is,” and start believing that the covenant God can write a new chapter.

You can keep carrying your family story like a weight of shame. You can say, “We are just angry. Distant. Cold. Religious but empty.”

Or you can bring that story, with all its mess, to the God who tells the truth about broken families in the Bible and pray, “Lord, I need You to step into my mishpachah, my household, my bayit. I need You to begin healing what I cannot fix.”

You cannot control every member of your family. But you can surrender your heart and your house to Him.

Unity in Messiah often begins not with them, but with you.

Prayer of salvation

If you're reading this and you realize, “I don't just need my family to change. I need my heart to be made new,” I want to invite you to pray with me.

Heavenly Father, I come to You today with an open and humble heart. I know that I have sinned and fallen short of Your glory, and I am asking for Your forgiveness. Right now, I turn away from my sins and I turn fully toward You. I believe that Jesus, Your Son, is the promised Messiah, that He died for my sins, was buried, and rose again on the third day, just as the Bible says.

Today I call on Your holy Name. Please forgive me, cleanse me, and make me new. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and write Your truth on my heart. From this day forward I choose to follow Jesus as my Lord, my Redeemer, and my King. Thank You for loving me, for saving me, and for making me part of Your family forever. In the name of Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, I pray. Amen.

If you prayed that prayer, or if you still have questions and want to know more, please reach out to me directly through www.TrueWordFaithforLife.com. I promise I will personally connect with you and help guide you in your next steps, whether that is understanding the Bible more deeply, finding a community of believers, or growing in your faith day by day.

You are not alone. Let me walk with you in the Way.

If this message stirred something in you about your own family, would you share it.

Think of one person you know who carries family pain, confusion, or regret. Send them this post or the episode. Post the link on your social media. Your share might be the very thing God uses to start healing in a family you cannot even see.

Final blessing

Beloved, God isn't surprised by your family.

He saw Abraham stumble.

He saw Jacob manipulate.

He saw David abuse power and wreck his own house.

He saw fathers fail, mothers cry, children run, siblings betray.

And yet, He still wrote Himself into their stories!

Your family may be broken, but you aren't beyond the reach of the God Who makes a home for the lonely and calls Himself Father to the fatherless.

Let your honesty become the doorway to healing.

Let your repentance become the first brick in a new foundation.

Let your house, whatever shape it is in, become a place where Yeshua is welcomed and His Word is lived.

Live honest.

Live repentant.

Live hopeful.

Live as a grafted in son or daughter in the household of God.

Shalom b’Shem Yeshua.

© 2025 Dr. Shawn M. Greener. All Rights Reserved.

True Word, Faith for LIFE.

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STUDY GUIDE

NEW SERIES: FAMILIES, BROKEN AND BELOVED

EPISODE 1 – DOES GOD STILL CARE ABOUT MY MESSY FAMILY?

Summary

This study introduces the series “Families, Broken and Beloved” by confronting the myth of the perfect Christian family and returning us to the Bible’s own stories. In the Ancient Near Eastern world, family was mishpachah and bayit, clan and household, not just a small nuclear unit. God’s covenant purposes attach to families, yet the families in Scripture are painfully real. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and even the father of the prodigal sons all live in homes marked by sin, failure, and deep wounds.

Rather than hiding these stories, God puts them in plain view to show that He is not ashamed of the truth and He is not afraid of our mess. He works within broken households to restore, redirect, and bless. The study invites you to see your own messy family inside that larger covenant story and to hear the promise of Psalm 68.6: God makes a home for the lonely and leads prisoners into blessing.

Ultimately, you are called to respond. You cannot change your family history, but you can covenant your future. You can bring your story to the God who tells the truth about families and ask Him to step into your mishpachah and your bayit. Unity in Messiah often begins not with them, but with you.

Primary texts (LEB and CJB side by side)

Genesis 12.1 to 3

Lexham English Bible (LEB)

“Now Yahweh said to Abram, ‘Go out from your land, and from your relatives, and from your father’s house, to the land that I will show you. And I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you, and I will make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. And I will bless those who bless you, and the one who treats you lightly I must curse, and all the families of the earth will be blessed in you.’”

Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)

“Adonai said to Avram, ‘Get yourself out of your country, away from your kinsmen and away from your father’s house, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation; I will bless you; I will make your name great; and you are to be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, but I will curse anyone who curses you; and by you all the families of the earth will be blessed.’”

Psalm 68.6

Lexham English Bible (LEB)

“God settles the lonely in a home; he brings prisoners out into prosperity, but the rebellious live in a parched land.”

Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)

“God gives homes to those who are alone and leads prisoners out into prosperity; but rebels must live in a parched wasteland.”

Joshua 24.15

Lexham English Bible (LEB)

“But if it is displeasing in your sight to serve Yahweh, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve, whether the gods that your ancestors served beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve Yahweh.”

Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)

“If it seems bad to you to serve Adonai, then choose today whom you are going to serve! Will it be the gods your ancestors served beyond the River or the gods of the Emori, in whose land you are living? As for me and my household, we will serve Adonai.”

Key Hebrew and Greek terms

Mishpachah (meesh pah KHAH)

Hebrew for “clan” or “extended family.” It includes parents, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, servants, and sometimes resident foreigners tied to the household. Mishpachah reminds us that God’s promises and purposes often address networks of relationships, not isolated individuals.

Bayit (BAH yeet)

Hebrew for “house” or “household.” Beyond the physical building, bayit refers to the people, name, and legacy attached to that house. When Joshua says, “As for me and my house,” he speaks of everyone under his authority and covenant responsibility.

Chesed (KHEH sed)

Often translated “lovingkindness,” “steadfast love,” or “covenant loyalty.” God’s chesed toward His people provides the secure backdrop for His patience with broken families. He stays faithful even when the household fails.

Oikos (OY koss)

Greek term for “house” or “household” in the New Testament. It carries the same sense as bayit. When entire households believe in Yeshua in Acts, the word oikos emphasizes a corporate turning, not only isolated individuals.

ANE context and theology of family

In the Ancient Near Eastern world, identity, survival, and destiny were bound up with family and clan. A person without a household was vulnerable and exposed. Honor and shame were not private emotions, but public realities tied to the reputation of one’s bayit.

This is what makes the Bible’s honesty so startling. If you wanted to preserve family and tribal honor, you would hide the stories of Abraham’s deception, Jacob’s manipulation, and David’s moral collapse. Instead, the Bible names them. God chooses to reveal Himself inside those very histories.

From a Hebraic worldview, this tells us that:

Covenant is stronger than scandal. God’s commitment to His promises outlasts the failures of His people.

Repentance can redirect a household. Choices in one generation can open doors or close them for the next, but God’s mercy can create new beginnings.

Household faith is central. God’s mission moves through mishpachah and bayit, families and households that orient themselves toward Him.

Discussion questions

When you hear the phrase “messy family,” what scenes or memories come to mind from your own life. How have those experiences shaped your view of God.

Which biblical family in this study do you resonate with most and why. Abraham’s divided loyalties, Jacob’s favoritism, David’s shattered household, or the father with two sons in Luke 15.

How does understanding mishpachah and bayit challenge the way you think about family and faith?  In what ways has modern individualism influenced your view of the Bible?

Psalm 68.6 calls God the One who makes a home for the lonely. Where have you seen God create “household” in unexpected ways, whether through church, friendships, or spiritual mentors?

What unhealthy family pattern are you most tempted to excuse as “just how we are?” What would it look like to bring that pattern before God and ask Him to begin a new chapter?

Practical application steps

Name one pattern

Write down one unhealthy family pattern from your upbringing or current home. It may be anger, silence, avoidance, control, addiction, or something else. Pray Psalm 68.6 over that pattern and ask God to begin a different story with you.

Tell one truth

Set aside time this week to tell God the truth about your family without editing. Speak honestly in prayer about what happened, what still hurts, and where you feel powerless. This is not gossip before God. It is confession and lament.

Take one small step

Choose one practical action that aligns your household more closely with serving Yahweh. That might be starting a simple daily Bible reading at the dinner table, apologizing and asking forgiveness, or scheduling a counseling appointment. Small steps, repeated, build new foundations.

Invite one person

Ask God to show you one person outside your biological family who could become part of your spiritual mishpachah. Invite them into your home, your story, and your journey of healing. God often builds household through spiritual family as well as biological ties.

Reflection prayer

Father of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,

You see my family clearly, without filters or excuses.

You know our sins, our wounds, our secrets, and our shame.

Thank You that Your Word does not pretend families are perfect.

Thank You for showing me that You were present even in the mess of the stories I read in Scripture.

Thank You that in Yeshua, You invite me into Your household, Your bayit, where I am seen and known and loved.

Today I bring my mishpachah to You.

I lay before You the patterns that have wounded me and the patterns I have repeated.

Forgive me where I have added to the pain.

Heal me where others have harmed me.

Make my heart a place where Your Spirit is welcome.

Make my house a place where Your Word is lived, not just quoted.

Give me courage to tell the truth, humility to repent, and hope to believe that You can write a new chapter.

I entrust my family, my past, and my future to You.

In the name of Yeshua the Messiah, who makes a home for the lonely,

Amen.

Michael S. Heiser, The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2015).

David H. Stern, Complete Jewish Bible (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 2016).

John H. Walton, The Lost World of the Old Testament: Mythology, Memory, and the Bible’s Ancient Context (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2014).

Jeffrey J. Niehaus, Ancient Near Eastern Themes in Biblical Theology (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel, 2008).

Bibliography

Heiser, Michael S. The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2015.

New International Dictionary of Old Testament Theology and Exegesis. Edited by Willem A. VanGemeren. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1997.

Stern, David H. Complete Jewish Bible. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 2016.

Walton, John H. The Lost World of the Old Testament: Mythology, Memory, and the Bible’s Ancient Context. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2014.

Wilkinson, Bruce, and Kenneth Boa. Talk Thru the Bible. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1983.

Shalom b’Shem Yeshua.

© 2025 Dr. Shawn M. Greener. All Rights Reserved.

True Word, Faith for LIFE.

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How God Meets You In A Messy Family